(I was going to write about something else, but consider this….)
I believe that every man should teach his son to be a man. I’m not talking about changing the oil, or building a bookshelf. I’m not even talking about the bird or the bees. What I’m talking about is an area where I’ve failed to teach my boys the proper manly approach, because I’m one of those dads that will stop my boys from crying.
Crying is an emotional release that male children are taught to bottle up. I can hear myself yelling, “Stop that crying!” or “Shut it up!” Do you see the same thing I see? “Shut … it …up?”
I’ve said that so many times I can’t even count, but I never really realize what I was teaching them … until March 4, 2011, around 9pm. (while watching The Bucket List … one of my ugliest cries ever!)
Men are only allowed to express two emotions: happy & mad. Not only that, we are also taught to balance the two. If a man is “happy” and easy going all the time, then he is weak; but if he is mad all the time, then he is a jerk. Learning this balance is the totality of male emotionalism.
I am not simple, but I hope you get this point. HAPPY & MAD over simplifies complex emotions, and this is why we say to Jr., “boys don’t cry.” Its just not that simple. It is ok to be happy when … or you better not be a punk and get mad when …
Happiness, sadness, anger, and solace, in all of the of their varying degrees, need to be expressed with freedom. This is one of the meanings of being a “real” man. The ability to balance all emotions, telling others how you feel, and even how you feel about them, is a better measure of a man.
Bottling emotions doesn’t mean that you have control over them, because your bottle can only hold so much. When the bottle runs over, all the emotions are mixed and you really don’t know what you’re feeling. When this happens you’ll end up crying really ugly. Express every emotion properly and you’ll realize, that is being a real man.
© 2011 Djoaquin Publishing, All Rights Reserved