The Trust Factor (#REWIRED Part 3)


When it comes to relationships, it seems like the hardest thing to do is trust people. We have been conditioned to be suspicious of people, because you never know who is out to get you. Rightfully so! We live in such a crazy world where anything is possible, and just when you think you can’t be shocked anymore, you see things even more bizarre than then last. But what I’m about to say will sound like I don’t believe in the common sense of the previous concepts.

If you want to have successful Godly relationships, at some level you have to trust everybody. (Take a moment, read it again … yeah, that’s what I said.) We’ve been discussing ways to be rewired in how we relate to people, and learning to love like God loves. So, I know this sounds odd, but hear me out.

Upon the first look, trust is defined as a firm reliance on the integrity or ability of a person or thing (from However, if you read on, you will see one word that lends itself to a true full description of trust: expectation. For the purpose of this discussion, I define trust as the reasonable expectation of another’s response to the love given.

People are given a certain level of trust no matter how well you know them. For example, you wouldn’t give a perfect stranger the keys to your car would you? I’m sure you would if the stranger had a red jacket and a podium that said “valet.” You may even give the guy a tip for taking you keys, because you trust him at some level.

If you show love to anyone, you ought to know, reasonably, how they will respond to it. We all have a friend that is a hater. I know who will celebrate with me when something good happens, but I trust that hater to downplay it. Does that mean I love the hater any less? No, it only means that I know how to love them without frustration.

Jesus exemplified this perfectly with His disciples. Jesus tells his disciples, at the end of John 6, that He had chosen the twelve of them and one was a devil. Seven chapters later He reveals that it is Judas that will betray Him. Now most of us would have gotten rid of the devil in our group, but Jesus kept His around. He was able to continue to love Judas even though He knew how Judas would respond to His love. Not just Judas, but Peter, Thomas, you, and I.

Instead of going to the extreme and shutting people out, we just need to know what we can trust people with. Just like your hater friends. You haven’t thrown them away because they serve a purpose. Every person in your life has a purpose. You are responsible for the way you love others, and it is to your best interest to know how others will respond to it.

This is lived out, practically, by trial. As you share and show love little by little, people will show you to what degree you can trust them. As you learn this, adjust. You shouldn’t just disqualify people. Instead of saying, “I just can’t trust them,” ask, “what can I trust them to do?”

Who can you trust to have your back? Who can you trust to stab you in it? Either way, if you want to be Godly, you still have to show them love.

© 2011 DJoaquin Publishing, All Rights Reserved

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