“Real men” can’t ever be caught saying:
1. I’m hurt.
It’s amazing how men aren’t allowed to hurt. It begins physically, when a little boy falls and skins his knee. He’s told to stop crying, because “it ain’t that bad.” When a boy us never allowed to express his emotions, it leaves him aggressive and frustrated. Even in his relationships with the opposite sex. A woman wants a man to be sensitive to her needs, but tough when dealing with his own.
2. I’m insecure.
We’ve created a culture that constantly and consistently requires males to prove their manhood, without a constant nor consistent definition of what manhood is. This dichotomy creates so much insecurity in a man, making him feel weak, especially when he’s not “winning”. However, when you ask any group of women what is the most attractive quality in a man, the overwhelming consensus is confidence. Subsequently, he can never say “I’m scared” or “I don’t know”, because they ultimately mean the same thing; I’m insecure.
3. I was wrong.
A man is supposed to know. He’s supposed to have solutions. So men will routinely suffer the consequences of ignorance, but can’t admit when he is wrong. Being wrong, not being able to fix it makes him feel inadequate. Here’s a secret that perhaps no one else will tell you: every man struggles with his own adequacy.
4. I’m embarrassed.
Much like number 3, being embarrassed speaks to a man’s struggle with inadequacy. The shame associated with embarrassment, usually leaves a man angry. Anger quickly turns to rage or aggression all because he can’t properly express his emotions.
5. I need you.
Speaking of pride, a “real man” should be able to succeed alone. Needing others also speaks to his inadequacies. His need for help rarely surpasses his need to be competent, so he will opt for looking good while failing rather than humbly winning. He confuses humility with humiliation, and he’s not having that.
So what’s the point?
Let’s not create another generation of men who aren’t allowed to speak from their hearts and share their fears. Speak life into the men in your life, giving them permission to be vulnerable. Stop requiring them to be Superman, because being afraid or hurt or insecure doesn’t make that man any less of a man; it simply makes him human.
© 2014 Team Murph Publishing/DJoaquin Publishing, All Rights Reserved
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