Whenever bad things happen, or relationships end, people go on the hunt for closure. Closure is the sense of resolution at the end of something, that brings a conclusion after an emotional or traumatic event. Tons of doctors and tv shows make their living on trying to bring closure to the people who need it. But trying to find closure, in many ways, can be like chasing mermaids and unicorns. I’m not saying that closure doesn’t exist, it just may not come the way most people expect it.
Whenever we go on the hunt for closure, we believe that we will get answers and understanding from the other person; and the truth of the matter is that you probably won’t get it. You will only reopen wounds, that never properly healed in the first place, making it even more bitter than before. It is quite possible to have grown and matured, but when we encounter an old pain, maturity can fly out the window.
Even worse than that, some people disguise the need for closure, for an opportunity to get that old thing back. It is very easy to try to reopen a former chapter of our lives, under the claim of trying to nail down closure. The most dangerous part of this scenario, is that we tend to deceive ourselves.
Yes, closure, conclusion, and resolution IS necessary, but we don’t need anyone else to get it. The truest and most effective closure happens when we are honest with ourselves. Francheska Medina, better known as HeyFranHey on Instagram and Twitter, said that it takes “Radical Honesty” to find true closure within yourself. You have to be radically honest about how you feel, what you’re thinking, and even what you’re wishing. Confronting these true emotions and giving them a place in your consciousness, instead of repressing them, puts us on track to getting over them. An issue never faced, is an issue never resolved.
You can never really know another’s motives, you can only go by what they tell you, or what you perceive. Your own motives, reasonings, and personal understanding are the only things you can truly know; and THAT’S where you find resolve. THAT’S where you, and only you can close those bad chapters of your life. No, closure is not a mythical creature, but you certainly won’t find it anywhere, outside of your own heart and soul.
© 2017 Derek J. Murphy Enterprises, and I AM KINGDOM Publishing, All Rights Reserved.
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