The Art of Moving On


It’s been said, time and again, that everything that has a beginning has an end; yet we tend to always be surprised when relationships end. Excluding death, people will end relationships for any variety of reasons. Some legitimate, others … not so much. As an introvert, I tend to be somewhat of a loner, but coming to grips with someone’s departure from you life, can difficult, no matter your predisposition. Here are 5 tips to help you through the transition of “moving on”: 

  1. Remember, you don’t need them …I believe in the providence of God, and that whatever you need in your life, to successfully live out His will, He will provide it. But, while it is that we are beings who need relationships, we DON’T need particular people. Your life, your purpose, your success doesn’t have to end just because someone decided to walk away. Life doesn’t work like that. If they can make it without you, you can make it without them.
  2. It’s okay to mourn …If a particularly close relationship ends, it’s going to hurt. However, some people feel that it isn’t good to be emotional when people leave, or even when you’re the one doing the leaving. It is perfectly fine, AND NORMAL, to mourn or grieve the end of a relationship. In fact, in some cases, I believe it is vital. Don’t beat yourself up for having hurt feelings, but find a way to work through them.
  3. Miss them …In the process of mourning and grieving, you are going to miss them. You may even be tempted to reach out to them. My advice : don’t do it. Miss them now, and I promise there will come a day when you will miss them no more.
  4. Regroup … After a relationship ends, it’s important that you take the time to regroup. Figure out what that person meant to you, and many times you will discover they weren’t as important as you thought. Assess what you learned from that relationship, and many times you will discover that it pretty much had run its course. Determine if the absence of that person actually creates a void, and many times you will discover that there is no true void at all.  Regrouping is a step most of us skip, but if you do it, I’m pretty sure you will have moved on, on the other side of it.
  5.  Know that YOU provide your OWN closure …

    You may never get an explanation, or an apology. The truth is, you don’t really need one. We’ve all seen plenty of movies that ended terribly, and made no sense. Guess what … the credits rolled anyway. Yea, you might have spent some time trying to figure it out, but if you couldn’t, you just went on with your life. People always have their reasons, even when they don’t articulate them, and even when you don’t know them. It’s fine. Just let the credits roll.

© 2017 Derek J. Murphy Enterprises, and I AM KINGDOM Publishing, All Rights Reserved.

 

If you enjoyed this essay, please feel free to share it with your family, friends and social media to help spread this encouragement. Thank you for reading!

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