People come and people go; that’s just the way life works. We are living in a generation that is slowly getting back to understanding the power of connection. Yes we have personal responsibility, but we are also better together. With this longing for relationship and the fulfillment that comes from them, there is also the reality that every relationship comes to an end.
We don’t like to talk about this truth but we all need to recognize it. Nothing lasts forever, including relationships. When relationships end, so many are quick to place blame, or accusations of wrong on “them”. Or worse yet, we will think that something wrong with us; as if we should change something about ourselves so “they” won’t leave. But what if I told you, it’s you? What if you ARE the reason they left?
I’ve always taught that people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime; but I really love how grief expert and writer Carresa Jennings expands this idea. She shared with me that there are only four reasons why people form (non romantic) relationships: 1) to teach someone something, 2) to be taught something, 3) to enjoy each other and have fun, or 4) to make money or do business together.
“They” may have left you because you learned what you needed to learn from them. If that’s the case, it’s time to move on. It’s also time to move on if you taught them what they needed to learn. If it’s no longer fun, it’s ok to part ways; and the old adage is true, “if it don’t make dollars, it don’t make sense. We say people grow apart, but the truth of the matter is people served their purpose. Let me also say, if people don’t serve a purpose, you don’t have to have them in your life. Either way maybe it IS you.
Changing and growing will attract people into your life, but it’s also true that changing and growing will drive people away. Jesus, as he is about to go to the cross is preparing His disciples for what’s about to happen. He tells them that He is about to be glorified, and the Father is about to be glorified in Him, which means he will have to go away. Peter, always willing to speak up asks, “Where are you going (v. 36a)” as to say he was ready to follow Jesus anywhere.
Jesus tells him that where He is going, Peter can’t follow right now (v. 36 b). It was time for Jesus to fulfill His purpose, and Peter just wasn’t in the proper emotional, mental, or spiritual state of mind to follow Jesus to this place. But Peter not wanting to lose the relationship, persists that he would follow Jesus anywhere, saying “I will lay down my life for you. (v. 37)”
Jesus, who being just as much God as He was man, knows all things states, “Truly I tell you, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times! (v. 38b)”
Did Jesus do anything wrong? No. At this point, did Peter do anything wrong? Still, no. There was not betrayal, nor strife, nor one disagreement. They just had to part ways, even if it was for a season, so that purpose could be fulfilled. So let me encourage you, if someone has left your life, or if things have changed between you and a close friend, don’t fight it. Purpose and destiny might require “them”, or even you to leave. Don’t take it personally. Don’t place blame at their, or even your feet. My wife has always been able to comfort me with these words: “It is what it is, ’till it’s not what it was.”
© 2018 Derek J. Murphy Enterprises, and I AM KINGDOM Publishing, All Rights Reserved.
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