Love Isn’t Sexy

Movies, TV, the stages of life known as social media have all duped us. (In my strong Mount Vernon accented voice) We have been tricked, hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray, run a muck! We have been offered and full willing to drink the Kool-aid (let me see if I can think of any more …. nah … I’m good). We have been fed the image of sexiness being linked with love, and we have fallen for it hook, line and sinker (my bad … there was one more … I promise I’m done now).

Steamy sex scenes filled with unbridled passion, the celebration of open sexuality and the no holds barred, passing no judgments, do whatcha’ like view of people’s sexual proclivities have all duped us into thinking that falling and being in love is a beautiful and sexy adventure. Everyone seems to be drawn to the idea of a 9 1/2 Weeks experience that will last a lifetime. However, I’m sorry to let you know that love is, in fact, not sexy at all.

Sexiness is a concept that feeds our base desires, and the visual world of multimedia primarily use lust to stir up these desires. Everything from daytime television to porn uses the sex scene as an epitome of desire and love. This is why so many of us who desire to be married tend to lead our list of qualities for our lifelong partner with traits that arouse our sexual desire. We will have a laundry list of physical or sexual requirements , forgetting that is someone’s character that sustains long-lasting relationships.

While love can be expressed sexually, it is certainly not love’s primary expression. The Bible teaches that love is patient, kind, trusting, humble, protecting and preserving  (see 1 Corinthians 13:4-8). But if you would give me a little license, love is also corny, sappy, and silly. Love doesn’t take itself too seriously.  Love can be a long and deep conversation, or the comfortable silence of someone else’s presence. Love is getting mad, but not staying mad. Love is being petty without offense. Love is recognizing beauty without flattery. Love is sometimes messy and hard, and will often disappoint and miss the mark; but love is certainly worth it.

So let me encourage you. Passion is a great thing and has its place in our relationships, but passion should not be our primary focal point. Long lasting and meaningful relationships should arouse our desires to be a better human being, not just our erotic fantasies.

©2018 Derek J. Murphy Enterprises, and I AM KINGDOM Publishing, All Rights Reserved.

If you enjoyed this essay, please feel free to share it with your family, friends and social media to help spread this encouragement. Thank you for reading!


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